After reading through my work with my teacher we found some changes that need to be made in order to improve. I will now edit my previous post on introducing a character with the improvements that need to be made.
INT. BEDROOM NIGHT
BettySmith, aged 25, hard , your ordinary loner. She is plain looking, nothing special about her. She wears a black t-shirt black jeans with black boots. By taking one look at her you can see the ominous strains caused by a life of private fear , sadness, empitness and loneliness. The glum expression on her face never changes always still, her deep dark sunken eyes stay fixed on a photograph of a child, her own child. Tears drop from her eyes but her gloomy expression never changes she stays very still.
Maria moves towards her dusty dresser drawer which she opens, hundreds of images of the same child drop the floor. Maria drops to the dirty floor where she lies down. Tears uncontrollably fall from her eyes. The room has many toys cluttering it. Maria grabs a blue soft teddy and rips it apart.
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